empatherapynl

Being both, being all

I was getting rid of old receipts and papers that periodically accumulate inside my phone case, and I found one saying “You know how to balance opposing opinions”. The bold is mine, because the word caught my attention. It came up exactly today, when this morning I asked on Instagram “what is your idea ofContinue reading “Being both, being all”

Is the glass dirty?

Humans tend to flaunt their ability to be objective. We trust our perception to be an accurate depiction of reality and our reactions to be generally appropriate to the situation. Appropriate in the sense that anyone would understand how we got there, feeling exactly what we are feeling, and having the exact opinion we areContinue reading “Is the glass dirty?”

If only…

“If only this was different”, I hear this a lot. Usually the difference desired is small, it’s a centimeter in a whole house, a letter in a whole paragraph. “If only I could have 95 instead than 94”, said with a melancholy certainty that 95 would really mean happiness and, even more importantly, the endContinue reading “If only…”

Lives lived inside our heads

Much of my work lately is centered around choices. How difficult yet liberating it is to make them; how scary yet thrilling it is to leave something behind. We often miss the real point when we feel our life will shrink when defining things. Life usually expands when it confronts reality. It shrinks inside ourContinue reading “Lives lived inside our heads”

The need for time

Amongst the most valuable things I’ve learned with therapy was a better relationship with time. In the past, time for me was always either too little or too much. I was enjoying a night with friends, and thinking “oh, if only it could last longer”, then somehow miss what was happening right in front ofContinue reading “The need for time”

Online counseling

The Covid crisis, with its consequent lockdown, has increased the number of online services across numerous sectors. Many psychologists were already working (also) online, but the inability to move led many of them to see clients exclusively online and others to add it to their options. The same applied to clients: many had already triedContinue reading “Online counseling”

Integration in counseling

We have seen multiple approaches to psychotherapy and counseling and the difference between them based on their assumptions and goals. Some are more practical and short-term, some investigate deeper aspects, some provide skills, some have a greater interest in the context, some in the individual, and so on. Then we have seen how the psychologistContinue reading “Integration in counseling”

The importance of therapeutic relationship

After decades of different schools trying to prove they had the best and most effective theories, increasingly more articles are coming up on the effectiveness of other variables than just the approach. And increasingly more schools are integrating rather than separating, because it is clear there are things that work across approaches. One of themContinue reading “The importance of therapeutic relationship”

Assumptions, goals and methods of different approaches

— Italiano sotto — Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy Assumption: emotions derive from automatic thoughts (cognitions). If I believe that people are generally mean, I will feel scared and defensive.Goal: challenge automatic thoughts by comparing them to more rational ones (people are not all mean) and this will change the emotions.Method: setting goals, practicing techniques, identifying distortions, definingContinue reading “Assumptions, goals and methods of different approaches”

What brings you here?

The therapeutic process starts with a question, “What brings you here?“, and an answer that is the real question, the complaint. A question that the psychologist can help interpret in a goal-oriented way, or simply deconstruct together to find what implications it holds. In some cases this process happens before therapy, if the client’s awarenessContinue reading “What brings you here?”