Amongst the most valuable things I’ve learned with therapy was a better relationship with time. In the past, time for me was always either too little or too much. I was enjoying a night with friends, and thinking “oh, if only it could last longer”, then somehow miss what was happening right in front of my eyes, like I wasn’t there. And the next day, nostalgia. On the other hand, if I had some free time before an appointment I’d want those hours to go fast, so I could just be there, do the thing, be done. Time was never a friend. It reminded me how little control I had on things.
As therapy gradually helped plunging me back into my life — yes, your healers need healing too, that’s how they manage to help you in the first place — a lot of things found a more appropriate place. I was not in “someone else’s shoes”, but I was instead in mine, and from here I could see others more clearly. Time, also, followed this trend. It became a container well suited for what it contained. I didn’t want to control it anymore, so I didn’t need to. It didn’t serve me nor it antagonized me. We both existed, coexisted, and did that as peacefully as possible.
I’m reminded of time as I look for new ways to interact with my professional platforms. How can I coexist peacefully with time when Instagram encourages more and more the contraction of it through summaries and short reels? How can I be spontaneous and genuine if it asks me to post frequently to feed the algorithm? Popularity on social media is necessary to work, but it comes at a cost, not just that of time and money, but that of identity.
I need time to explain how complex this job is.
I need time to elaborate on why I don’t think our goal should be to spot the narcissist in our life — especially because a narcissist always finds another one to bond with.
I need time to discuss on the need for more time in mental health. No 10-session plan to solve your trauma or some months of quick work to put you back on track.
I need time to explore the rooms where my clients take me, to be introduced to their lives, to find a comfortable spot to work together.
I need time to correct the ones who are out there normalizing everything, or pathologizing everything. Not everything is normal, and not everything is a pathology.
I need time to tell you why we need more time.
So I’m coming back to my platform in a different way. I’ll post questions, we can reflect together, but there will be no rush. And I’ll write on this blog, where we can take more time to look at things, and you’re not forced my content on your feed. You can take the time to look for it, and take the time to read it. And who knows, maybe take the time to reply, and say — at length — what you think.
Let’s take more time, shall we?
Empatherapy 