Author Archives: empatherapynl

December asks few words and gives even less. It’s cheap with images, thrifty with sounds, neutral in smells. I’m inhabited by a sense of quiet wait, patient suspension. Things will have time to happen, and underneath everything there’s an invisible fertility that has just slowed down but never stopped. If you pay close attention, youContinue reading “Dot dot dot”

There’s a reason why it’s so hard for a politician to tell their potential electors they will tax people more. Those people will probably not vote for them.Similarly, it’s hard for a psychologist to say that therapy doesn’t always make you feel better immediately and that it takes long to get deep inside yourself andContinue reading “Hello darkness, my estranged friend”

I always enjoyed trains. What seems now to be treated as a meme of neurodivergence is actually not an uncommon trait.Ask around, and many people will tell you they find trains relaxing or soothing in some intangible way. With due exceptions, like crowdedness or Italian delays, there is some comfort in moving while being still.Continue reading “Too fast to go anywhere”

The person who really knows what they want has a good reputation in our society. Assertive, voracious, desiring and desirable. “She really knows what she wants”, similar to “he’s a self made man”. Almost a mythological creature.Raised by wolves or aliens, the person who knows what she wants is usually a doer. She sees, sheContinue reading “Eyes on the goal and away from you”

My skin talks a lot. It goes on and on and on about everything and nothing and most of the time I can’t even grasp what it’s telling me. – You don’t know what happened to me the other day. Unbelievable!– What?– This crazy thing! Crazy things always happen to me. Like have I everContinue reading “Unclear messages”

Let’s say you’re in front of the mirror, and by lifting up your right arm you notice a small pimple on your elbow. You’d go check with your left hand to confirm its texture, expecting something quite specific. You’ll confirm it’s a pimple quickly, with a simple touch. Similarly, you might check your hair, observeContinue reading “Shuffled observation”

It’s very hard to make distinctions of suffering. At best, it raises the question of why should we even attempt that. Which pain is worse, which pain is better, who suffers more between me and you. What a vulgar way to treat creatures. In 1951, a German psychoanalyst called Karen Horney wrote a book withContinue reading “The incel in me”