I was getting rid of old receipts and papers that periodically accumulate inside my phone case, and I found one saying “You know how to balance opposing opinions”. The bold is mine, because the word caught my attention. It came up exactly today, when this morning I asked on Instagram “what is your idea of balance?”. I’m always fascinated with recurring words. On top of that, I always appreciate being complimented by fortune cookies.
Do I know how to balance opposing opinions? Do I even know what that means?
I imagine a wise woman standing between two people fighting, saying “I see your point” to both, getting a stiff neck in the end with all that turning left and right. Perhaps she’ll continue until they start fighting her — or kill each other. Or at some point she will engage in the beautiful act of balancing, coming up with a resolution that is located exactly in the middle.
Or she will simply stand there, witnessing as a neutral bystander, not taking sides. Being the balanced alternative to these polar opposites.
One can also imagine someone closing their eyes and partake in all of this in the most zen of attitudes, elevating themselves over rage and opinions.
I have a contradictory opinion of balance. I know it’s usually meant as something good, but I find its meaning quite vague. Words I associate to it are: neutral, middle, untouched, suspension. Something that doesn’t touch life. Something as ethereal as “all” or “nothing”. In a previous post I wrote that “Perfection, wholeness, everything-ness, completion, these are all illusions […]”. Well, what if balance is too?
If 0 is impossible, and 100 is an utopia, how do we know where 50 is?
Could it be that balance is actually… movement? That in order to feel balanced we have to nibble a bit of this and a bit of that?
Perhaps real coexistence of opposites is not an equal distribution, but having everything inside, and choosing the dosage every day.
It’s a kitchen full of ingredients, and knowing which ones you have, which ones you’re missing, not spending your time thinking about that one dish that you could make if only you had bought butter yesterday, not having to finish all the ones you have if they don’t fit in the dish, stick with comfort if you need to, try out something new if you feel like it, cook for yourself but also cook for others, decide what feels better today. Be all of it, but trust that you don’t need to be everything all at once, to prove you can. Be intentional, but trust that you don’t have to always stick to what you chose today. You are not just an instant, nor the average of all of them.
You are someone who chooses, but you’re not the choice.
Does that sound balanced to you?
Empatherapy 